When it’s time to change, you’ve got to rearrange.

It’s time.  Time to start over.  My old blog, like an old friend that you still see, yet no longer have anything in common with, doesn’t fit me anymore.  I started it in November of 2010, only 6 months after Owen was diagnosed with Fragile X, and I was angry, and devastated, and grief stricken.  I was lost.  I was living a life that I knew was wrong, and was trying as hard as I could to ignore the voices in the back of my head that kept repeatedly reminding me.  I had lived with those voices for so long, but eventually it became impossible to drown them out.  I tried, and I tried HARD in so many unhealthy ways.  I was living a life of dishonesty – to myself.  

I’m not that girl anymore.  I’m at peace with who I am.  I have made some difficult choices that wrenched my mind and wracked my body, wreaking havoc on my gastrointestinal system and exploding my life into thousands of desperate shards.  But now I am living a life where I am FINALLY true to myself, and the voices in my head have quieted because they are congruent with the way I am living my life.  I am far from perfect, though I still wish I was.  I am finally ‘good enough’ – for me.  And that has given me a sense of peace that I never thought possible.  Freeing myself and listening to my gut has left me open to receiving love and happiness I didn’t know I could experience – and frankly, after Fragile X, never thought I WOULD experience.  But here it is, and here I am, and I needed a new place to start over and write and share.  I love my old blog, like my old friend, but we no longer “fit” anymore.  

So thanks for sticking with me.  I hope you won’t hold my past against me, and I pray you will continue with me on this journey.